Why do people expect their children to behave better in front of strangers than at home, yet expect their horses to behave better at home than in front of strangers?
Both situations are the product of training and relationship. Why the difference? Perhaps the answer is two-fold.
- We expect our children to be able to discern situational nuance.
- Most owners understand that horses get creative when it is least convenient.
Train 'em while they're young!
So, how do these simple observations explain the difference? When we teach our children to have inconsistent responses we get one set of manners for company and one for home. When we allow our horses to give inconsistent responses we get a quiet, obedient horse at home, and one who is likely to behave impulsively in an unfamiliar environment. Both situations appear to be woven from one common thread; inconsistent training.
Do You Ever Surprise Yourself?
We returned home last night after attending a beautiful family wedding in Seattle. Amid strange surroundings and among folks we don’t see often, I used phrases I don’t normally (nothing horrible) and deviated from daily routines (commitments) that caused me to ponder such things.
Horses are consistent and obedient through relationship with the one they consider their leader. Children are consistent and obedient through relationship with their parents.
Relationship Determines Behavior
Christians are consistent and obedient through relationship with God, their Leader and Parent. The inconsistency that produces two sets of manners in children is the fault of their parents, and the variance of behavior by a horse is the fault of its trainer. Authenticity in the life of a Christian is a product of relationship with God. It is a pretty safe bet that the fault for any variance will be ours.
Behavior is rooted in one of two habits; a habit of obedience or a habit of task. The habit of obedience leads to consistency regardless of setting. The habit of task only serves when location and circumstances remain the same.
Are your relationships with your children, your horse, or with God, based more on obedience or routine? I discovered I still need a little work on obedience.
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4 Comments
Love that photo, Lynn. And yes, we have to be on constant guard to stay consistent in our relationship with God. The world is full of distractions and enticements. God is always consistently loving us – He never changes. We are always the ones that shift and dodge away. But thanks to habit, we can learn to be consistent towards Him – good habit. Thanks for another great post.
Sometimes I really am like a showhorse. I perform so well at home in my familiar arena. But, take me out to the show and I am just not as highly tuned. The remedy for me is the same as the horse; keep going out and trying.
Thanks, Barb.
True, true!
As a mom to 5 little ones, relationship is the only thing that consistently will make it through. We don’t have enough time to “task” our way through the day with them. (Although, that isn’t to say we don’t try.)
When we do try to strong arm our way through the day, though, we all end up frustrated and exhausted.
I am going to keep this in mind when I try to task out my day with God, and instead, just delight in the relationship with Him, like He does with me.
Thanks for the reminder, Lynn!
Thanks for visiting, Polly. It’s the quality of the journey, after all, isn’t it? Not a race to see who gets done first! Sounds like you have it together. May your family be blessed by your wisdom.
Lynn