Category Archives: Christian Relationships

About God and man; man and horse; parents and children; churches and their members.

New Voice in Christian Country Music

August 11, 2010

Wes McMillian’s recently released CD, I’m Not That Way Anymore, would be a chart topper if he was already a household name. Through a series of happy ‘coincidences’ we met a few months ago.

Wes has a unique voice that is both simple and complex at the same time. My husband says it almost reminds him  of a cross between George Strait and Alan Jackson. I just know I like it. The CD isn’t one of those where every song is just another version of the same tempo, key, and feel. Each one is fresh, different, and proves just how versatile Wes is as a songwriter, an arranger,  and as a performer.

The Christian messages of his music are inspirational, scriptural and topically spot-on for the days we live in. While the focus of his music is service to the Lord, Wes is also just a really, really good singer!

Wes McMillian

Living in the Weatherford, Texas area, Wes is open to booking engagements. Visit his website, Wes McMillian Ministries [click on title] for more information and to take a listen to this great release.

When you get your CD… it has a big finish. You will be blessed.

2 Comments

Heroes in a town without water

August 4, 2010

Weatherford, Texas spent two days without water earlier this week. There was a break in a coupling in a critical spot where treated water started in to the distribution system. There was plenty of water, but no way to get it to the folks.

Restaurants can’t open without sanitation facilities. Hospitals can’t do procedures and surgery. County offices were closed. Motels cannot operate. There wasn’t a working bathroom for miles. Not in the stores, not in the homes, not in the nursing facilities, not in the jail, not in the animal shelters. There was no running water anywhere.

No running water anywhere.

Did I mention this is the hottest week of this Texas summer? It has been 102-107 degrees of hot this week. And – no water in Weatherford.

Weatherford Heroes - Weatherford Star-Telegram

Heroes

This was a set-up for disaster. Not only was there near record heat, there was no water anywhere. But, like many other small to mid-size towns throughout the United States we have an ample supply of heroes. City workers, county workers, Red Cross volunteers, fire fighters, law enforcement, businesses and members of the community all came out to help one another.

Over the course of these two days I was out amongst the folks a number of times. My husband and I closed on a new piece of ground. I attended my weekly Rotary meeting.

We did all the errands that make their way to our list when we go in to town from the country. My husband worked his day at Center of Hope distributing groceries to client families that come in for assistance and a meal. Groceries still went out to those in need and the usual hot meal became a sack lunch, but the hungry were still fed. These are heroes in action.

No matter where you went in the area there were bottles and cases of water being distributed free to all comers. Outside one of the local banks I saw a truck packed with cases of water and a very hot, but dedicated bank employee sitting in a tiny plot of nearby shade waiting to give that water to anyone who needed it. We offered a shower to folks who thought the 25 mile trip worth it, but they all found help much closer to home.

Weatherford Texas, like many communities in our weary but wonderful nation, is full of heroes.

Texas Tough

Not only are the folks here in the Weatherford area Texas tough, they are Texas cheerful. Everyone we saw from those attending to the closed lunch rooms to those just looking to help someone else were in bright spirits, even if you could see just a touch of ‘glow’ that the morning’s missed shower didn’t remove.

Employees weren’t able to work. Businesses didn’t get to sell. Hungry folks couldn’t get served in a restaurant, and you had to plan sanitation events in advance, if you get my drift.

The economy is tough enough without an unexpected two day enforced ‘vacation’. Yet, to date, I haven’t heard one murmur about such issues. The only concerns I heard were about taking care of the folks and getting the water turned back on. Maybe there was a Grinch out there somewhere, but I sure never met up with him.

“We will not rest…”

A frequent statement heard from Washington DC these days is that “We will not rest” until the issue of the day is resolved. Somehow golf outings and vacations fail to qualify as ‘rest’, but I’m sure there must be some material fact I haven’t been briefed on yet.

Weatherford city management got on the ball Sunday night before anyone else knew what was coming. County officials and non-officials ran onto the playing field in socks and pajamas. (Maybe not literally, but darn near.)

A soon as the problem came up there was a passel of responders who did not rest until a solution was in place.

Happy Endings

Texas is a great place to live. Weatherford is a wonderful community, as are the others nearby who were front and center helping out their sister city and fellow Texans during this could-have-been crisis. There was no crisis because of the actions of all those who cared. And, the water is back on today.

Thank you Weatherford.
Thank you Parker County.
Thank you Red Cross.
Thank you fellow Texans.

May God bless America, and may He richly bless Texas.

Also posted in Politics - the real world – 0 Comments

Why is being simple so complex?

July 29, 2010

Everyone has an Achille’s heel; a stumbling point they continue to jam their toes into time and time again. One of mine is simply forgetting to be simple. I won’t share the details of my week, but assembled these quotes on simplicity to remind myself and to entertain you.  Enjoy.

Simplicity Quotes

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.~Albert Einstein

We humans lost our simplicity as we become more educated in worldly things. – Lynn Baber,  Amazing Grays, Amazing Grace

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. – Annie Dillard

Horses and children, I often think, have a lot of the good sense there is in the world.   -Josephine Demott Robinson

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope. – Winston Churchill

Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated. – Lou Holtz

Educators take something simple and make it complicated. Communicators take something complicated and make it simple. – John C. Maxwell

Lynn traveling in the simpler days.

They criticize me for harping on the obvious; if all the folks in the United States would do the few simple things they know they ought to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves. – Calvin Coolidge

Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way. – Marcel Proust

My pitching philosophy is simple – keep the ball way from the bat. – Satchel Paige

Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at. Make it fun to read. – Leo Burnett

And on that note, I hope that Mr. Burnett would consider this post simple and fun to read.

Have a wonderfully blessed and simple day!

Also posted in Business Excellence, For the love of Horses, Understanding Life – 0 Comments

Author multi-tasking…

July 13, 2010

In about an hour I will be driving my little bittersweet orange jeep northwards. For the next two days I will be learning a new skill: book narration.

The audio version of Amazing Grays, Amazing Grace will be produced this summer. First it has to be recorded and then the publisher’s pros from Tate Out Loud will do their magic.

55,000 Words

The audio version is 25-30,000 words shorter than the print version of the book. But still… that’s a lot of words!

Authors, be careful when you write that new book. If a major part of your message is about relationship… be prepared to learn a new skill. I was all set to have one of the professional narrators do the audio book until a long time friend pulled me up hard and said,

“I thought your message has always been a personal one. Even when you were a business consultant, didn’t you always say that ‘All business is personal’?

Uh. Yes, I did…do.

“Isn’t your message one of relationship? So, who should be narrating Amazing Grays?”

Well, he was right, of course. So the professional narrator was canceled and I was scheduled to do the audio book. The time has finally arrived.  I am off to learn another skill that authors today may find handy.

Horses are usually easier than being an author.

Free Download

If you have a print copy of Amazing Grays you will be able to download a free copy of the audio book when it is released. If you don’t, well, just keep in mind that the audio version is about 20% shorter than the print version.

Check out the new review on Amazon.com (CLICK HERE).  If you are curious about what’s in the book, click on the book cover on the right column of this page to Search Inside on Amazon.

Baber is keeping all the horses, dogs, and cats company until I get back. Y’all be safe until we meet again!


Also posted in Business Excellence – 0 Comments

Inclusiveness and Freedom

July 8, 2010

Watching the news it becomes obvious that the subject of inclusiveness has become a political football; different factions vying for the right to define it.
Both major political parties are competing for the title of being the most inclusive.

Unfortunately for my fellow citizens, and depending on whether you see a glass as half-empty or half-full, both parties are either doing a fine job of achieving the politically correct form of the term, or failing with equal excellence if one actually understands English and the proper meaning of inclusiveness.

Definition of Inclusiveness

Dictionary.com defines the term as, “including the stated limit; including everything concerned.”

The definition includes a limit; everything within and everything concerned. Being inclusive requires boundaries or it is a useless concept.

Related Searches

The miracle of search engines offers these major searches common to the term ‘inclusiveness’ on Dictionary.com:

  • Diversity – synonymous with ‘miscellaneous’
  • Liberalism – synonymous with ‘indulgent or broad’
  • Integrity – synonymous with ‘unity’

Every Umbrella has Defined Limits

That a significant number of our citizens believe these three concepts to be synonymous with ‘inclusiveness’ is a problem. Here are the definitions for each; you be the judge.

  • Diversity: the state or fact of being different; unlikeness
  • Liberalism: philosophy advocating the freedom of the individual
  • Integrity: adherence to principles; state of being whole or undimished

Only one of these terms actually lends itself well when you consider the definition of inclusiveness, and that is ‘integrity’. Diversity concentrates on what is different, inclusiveness on what is alike. Limitless liberalism is closer to anarchy than connectedness.

My freedom ends…

From an early age my mother taught me that, “My freedom ends where yours begins.” This is a lesson in getting along with each other. Taken to its extreme, one who has total liberal freedom may murder at random thus taking away all freedom of even life itself from his or her victims. Any expansion of one individual’s freedom will cause an equal contraction of the freedom of another.

The concept of society is that of distinguishing where the margins of my freedom and yours intersect. A nation of laws then establishes statutes so each citizen enjoys the greatest possible individual freedom while protecting the freedoms of his neighbor. The topic of freedom of speech also requires societies to determine where the margins of personal freedom should be.

Tolerance or Hypocrisy?

Tolerance is similar to inclusiveness in that it requires establishing limits in order to be meaningful. Inclusive of what? Tolerant of what? To include everything or tolerate everything defines anarchy. There is no order, no guaranteed freedoms, and no society.

Being tolerant only to the extent that you require others to allow you to exercise your freedom without limits is hardly an example of being tolerant; it is an illustration of hypocrisy. Taking away my freedom so that you may enjoy yours is not tolerance. Margins and limits must be established.

A Rose

Also a Rose?

Labels and Faces

Quit looking at the labels and faces of social and political debate; they lie. ***   Instead look at the impact on freedoms. Our government is charged with providing for the common good. Not everyone will agree on what the common good is, but recognize the consequences of social and legislative changes before you stand up for them.

Action and Reaction

In physics we learn that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The same is true of freedom.

Imagine a bucket filled to the brim of water. The bucket represents freedom. If you want more freedom you add more water. By adding more of your water you cause other water to flow out over the top of the bucket where it will be lost.

There is no Limitless Capacity

Inclusiveness isn’t limitless. Freedom isn’t limitless. It is not possible to provide everything to everybody. This isn’t a political opinion, it’s just a simple fact.

Limit Freedom?

Only by establishing limits on freedom will we retain the freedoms we presently enjoy. It doesn’t matter to me which political party you affiliate with, I’m just trying to help folks visualize the issues we face realistically.

I’m a horse trainer. One of my jobs is to help horse owners understand how horses think so they can be more effective in creating great relationships with them. If an owner thinks a horse should be other than what it is they will always be in conflict with their  horse. A horse will always be a horse.

Societies of humans have already experimented with every possible ideology. Search history, including the Bible, and you will discover that just as horses have not changed, neither has mankind.

Every freedom you enjoy will by both practice and definition limit the freedom of someone else. Choose your representatives wisely and remember to look at how each proposed change will affect all our freedoms.

*** This is a blackberry, not a rose.

Also posted in Politics - the real world, Understanding Life – 0 Comments

My horse is going to jail…

July 1, 2010

Our horse, Ace, is going in to the barn today. He will be in solitary confinement until we achieve the proper balance of authority and humility. The first step: establish my authority and his humility.

A Difficult Case

Ace is a ten year old gelding. He is from Sky’s last foal crop ***, sold as a weanling, and returned to us as he was turning ten. In the years between he had been ridden some, but not without issues. And, he was allowed to develop what I now think of as passive-aggressive behavior.

Ace in 2000

Ace had a major head injury as a weanling. He fully recovered, but there is always that niggling thought that part of his behavioral issue is physical. Whether it is or not, the cure is still the same.

Soon after Ace came home I rode him for a few days to get a feel for where he was. With other horses on the training roster first, I had planned on bringing Ace in next winter to attend relationship school.

Even before we got him home I had to work on some relationship basics. Ace did not intend to get into our trailer when we bought him and his brother, Shiner. Of course he did, and I have built upon that solid foundation of leadership since. It is time to resume construction…

Triage in the Pasture

Yesterday we put three horses into the front pasture with Ace for the day. The grass is lush and it was too wet to ride. Where Ace had been the passive, needy one; he is now a tyrant. We brought in horses last evening with bites and some hide off a bit here and there. Nothing big, hardly any broken skin… BUT.

Ace is in need. It is an emergency situation as far as I am concerned. There is no proper authority without an equal balance of humility. Ace need leadership. Ace needs relationship.

Personalities that are unbalanced cry out for help. It is my job to offer Ace help. He will begin receiving it today. He is going to jail.

The Jail

Ace is a Lucky Horse

In a world where wonderful horses cannot find homes, Ace is fortunate indeed to be part of a family totally committed to his future as well as his now. The time and effort it will take to bring Ace to a place of security, utility, and balance, could be spent working with a horse with far more upside potential.

The only potential I am concerned with is what is within Ace himself. When he came home I promised him leadership and his rightful place in our family for the rest of his life. Now I have to deliver on that promise.

Security in Limitations

Prison ministries work with confined humans, hoping that they will find eternal freedom in relationship with God. Loose on the streets they would never hear the message. Their hope is in their confinement. It provides focus.

Ace won’t just be locked in a stall. He will, however, have little choice but to focus on me. Until he is properly balanced he won’t be out with the other horses. If I allowed him access to the other horses I would fail all of them. Leadership never takes a vacation, and you don’t expose your troops to danger without a darn good reason.

Ace and I will work on mental as well as physical exercises. The end game of such limitation is expansive freedoms only found in amazing relationship. It takes two. We’ll see how committed Ace is willing to be. My commitment is complete; it was the moment I went to look for him and Shiner.

Shiner and Ace - 2000

Commitment

The perfect illustration of commitment is found in Jesus Christ. When required, He will bind us up in order to get our attention. Once our eyes return to His face, and His face alone, “He will tax the last limit of the universe to help you take the right road.” [Oswald Chambers.]

I will do the same for Ace. I’ll let you know how it goes.

*** Abduls Bright Sky, World and National Champion… aka The Spotted Wonder. You can read his story in the final chapter of Amazing Grays, Amazing Grace.

Also posted in For the love of Horses – 0 Comments

The need to prune…

June 29, 2010

The art of pruning involves removing what is perfectly healthy and setting it aside to allow what remains to become stronger or to restore to health what is ailing.

I say ‘art’ because pruning is not an exact science. One must make a correct assessment of the state of the whole before beginning to snip and discard. Of equal, or greater, importance is the inspired vision of how pruning will lead to the ultimate goal.

Vision

Discernment

The ability to correctly assess and generate vision is a combination of both gift and experience. As with any artistic endeavor, natural talents combine with study and hard work to both create vision and be able to share it with others.

Painters must discern the line where one stroke of their brush ends and another begins. Horse trainers must discern the moment where pressure of leg or rein is effectively applied or removed.

Judges must discern where the rights of one citizen end and another’s begin. Christians must discern where to apply a message of “an eye for an eye” and when it is best to “turn the other cheek.”

Contradiction

To the uneducated or unenlightened two things may appear to contradict one another when in fact they do not. This is why Oswald Chambers so rightly cautions us to “not judge what we do not understand.”

Is it a contradiction that a rider should put pressure on the reins to stop their horse and they should put pressure on the reins to continue forward with more effort? (Collection)

In scripture and in most any other endeavor that requires higher level instruction there will exist an apparent conflict of basic concepts to those without the necessary education or enlightenment that provides discernment.

Instant vs. Long-Term Reward

Pruning a tree may reduce today’s beauty in favor of a more vigorous long-term result. Culling the least productive from a herd of horses or cattle enhances the ultimate health and profitability of the herd.

In organizations, whether for profit or not, it is sometimes necessary to ‘cull’ the least productive in order to achieve the mission of the enterprise. Your best sales person may cause more disruption in the ranks that they are truly worth. The very popular figurehead of your company or church may actually be a rotten apple behind the façade seen by the public.

Government

One of the greatest challenges faced by citizens of the United States in 2010 is culling those in our government who may provide us with benefit today but will ultimately lead to our economic and societal demise.

If the electorate does not correctly prune now, the ‘tree of freedom and prosperity’ will eventually die. The disease of ‘judging what is not understood’ has sapped the energy of our nation. Elected officials make laws about an economy they do not understand.

Judges set boundaries that determine who enjoys freedom; improperly removing freedoms from one in order to give it to another. Our government is no longer able to correctly identify what our picture looks like today and set a vision for the future that may be shared with all.

Time to Prune

It is time to prune officials who either inhibit or prevent a return to health for our ailing ‘tree.’ It is time to accept that short term rewards must be sacrificed for long-term survival. Only wisdom and vision can prune correctly.

Will this tree live?

Our government is in the process of systematically plucking every new leaf that tries to unfurl in the sun and lopping off each foundational limb of our national tree.
What to cut? When to cut? Be very, very careful into whose hands you place the axe. Once too much has been sacrificed, death is assured – only the time of it remains in question.

Source of Wisdom

Our founding fathers knew the source of wisdom that never fails. If you are worried that I’m heading to the Bible, you’re right. If you don’t want to go there with me, take the exit now.

“If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” (Matthew 5:30)

The Source of Wisdom

In all things, wisdom, judgment, vision, and discernment are given as gifts by the Holy Spirit and nurtured and hammered into sturdy tools through education and experience.

One purpose of this verse is to teach us to prune. It goes against our natural intellect to discard what is healthy at the moment. Our natural gifts and vision won’t get us out of the problem in our nation today. Only the gifts and vision of our new nature as heirs to the kingdom can properly guide the hands on the pruning axe.

Fellowship

Both our nation and faith were founded on fellowship; “We the people” and the brotherhood of Jesus Christ.  The gifts of the Bible and the Constitution provide sufficient instruction for wise and visionary people as they prepare to prune.

Let’s work together.

Also posted in Business Excellence, Politics - the real world – 2 Comments

Uncommon Character

June 15, 2010

Once we have experienced a high of any nature we immediately want to recreate the experience or seek a way to live in that state of euphoria. Whether spiritual or physical, mankind was not made to live in a perpetual state of excitement or nirvana.

There are times when our flames burn so brightly we no longer see our circumstances beyond the brilliance of their light. When we experience a supernatural communion with God in those rare mountain-peak moments we may feel a bit deflated when our feet return to earth and our spirit to this plane alone.

Consuming Flame

Consumed by Addiction

Physical highs are much the same whether induced by alcohol or chemicals. Addicts gradually lose their ‘try’ as they seek again and again to find the place of ecstasy. The flames of their unnatural experience burn so brightly they are unable to see the true state of their lives. Observers watch them and note with an emotion somewhere on a scale between pity and disgust as the one on a perpetual high slowly shrivels and is consumed up by the constant fueling of their flame.

Mankind was not made to live on a high. Rare moments of maximum experience are gifts. They are not meant to be commonplace. The path that seeks this constant flame of experience is the path that leads to eventual cremation.

Life isn't built at the top.

The hottest romances have the shortest history. Rich marriages are built on the stuff of every day. The most beloved memories are cumulative, not of any one instant. The partnership that produces gold medal performances by a horse and rider are formed by their daily routine, not by the heights of competition.

Inspiration is received in moments. Character comes from building day-after-day habits and by finding excellence in the commonplace.

Uncommon Character

The level planes of daily life between the mountain peaks of exhilaration are what allow us to form habits and prevent us from an early flame-out. Be grateful for the commonplace. Our lives are built on the solid foundation of the commonplace world. Without this firm support we would be in danger of falling off one of those peaks we desire.

Develop character. Build solid foundations. Take a lesson from the wise horse; revel in routine.

King of the Hill

On the top of the mountain there is only room for one. All our human relationships play out on the broad plains of life. Take a lesson from the childhood game King of the Hill. There is only room at the top for one. And once the peak is achieved, everyone else tries to push you off.

Of course God can be found on the peak of the mountain. But then, He is everywhere.

Also posted in For the love of Horses, Understanding Life – 0 Comments

Simplicity and hindsight…

June 10, 2010

Hindsight is 20-20. Once our lives have been lived we are able to look back and see the results of our decisions. Were we prepared for the opportunities that came our way or did we miss out on what should have been our shining moments? This is the third and last in this series of posts on simplifying our lives.

Your Final Snapshot

At the end of our lives we are not going to regret any thing. Our blessings and our regrets will have all been somehow associated with a relationship.

In your mind’s eye create a snapshot of the end of your life. This is the final picture that will ever be taken of you. This is your legacy, your memory, your gift to those who will remain when you move into your eternal home.

What does your picture look like?

[Pretend there is soft mood music playing here... take this moment and think about your picture.]

Mood music by Blake Hannah Photography

What is in your picture?

Who is in your picture?

A Successful Life

Some lives produce a final portrait with rich and luxurious furnishings; a crystal flute at an elbow filled with the finest amber champagne. You can almost hear the bubbles burst as they rise to the surface and disappear. The artwork on the walls is precious and rare. The subject in the portrait wears the finest garments money can buy. Sound like a pretty good picture?

Alone.

The person is alone.

Another Option

Contrast that picture of privilege and ease with one where the furniture is worn and unremarkable. The decor is so insignificant that as we look at the portrait we don’t even see it. The shelf above the highest head is filled with photographs from other times. Perhaps this final portrait will find its way to that shelf soon. Nothing about the furnishings or fashion is worth noting.

But the love and light that shines from each of the many, many faces in the photograph give evidence of a wealth that is beyond calculation. There you are, seated in the middle of friends and family; generations of spirits connected together in this life,  and who will meet with you again after each of their own final portraits are done.

Is this your picture?

When we are finally given that moment to examine the length and breadth of our life; when our vision is 20-20;  I guarantee you will not regret any article of clothing, piece of furniture, item of art or cuisine, that you never got.

All that will matter is who showed up for that last photograph. Relationships can only be shared with a ‘who’, never with a ‘what.’

As you sort through all the stuff in your life trying to decide what is important and what is not, keep in mind this last portrait. If the item in your hand isn’t valuable enough to be in the picture, then it is just a thing.

Nothing of ultimate value takes up any space on a shelf or in a closet.

Also posted in Understanding Life – 1 Comment

Simplifying … the recipe box

June 4, 2010

A friend asked me to write about simplifying. Most of us see the need to simplify but don’t know exactly how to do it. I usually write only when ideas present themselves and I just follow along…

After trying to write about all the different reasons we keep stuff around I looked down at my desktop. There was a 3×5 recipe card with one thought on it. I had pulled it out of one of my file boxes earlier this week. It was still just lying there. Now I know why.

Providence

I read the card. On the card was the basis for finding simplicity; quality vs. quantity – or keeping only what is valuable and letting the rest go. What we consider valuable changes over time. Our closets and garages overflow with stuff that was valuable to us in the past.

This card ended up on my desk when I was going through all my cards with thoughts on them and pitching those I didn’t need any longer. The messages on the cards that ended up in File 13 were valuable once, but I have since moved on. Kinda like throwing out your notes from high school biology… don’t really need those anymore.

Quantity

When I got my first recipe box I copied recipes with a passion; I had to fill that box up. Too few cards and they wouldn’t stand up right, and when all I had in my box was just a pitiful few they screamed out to me “immature, untested, unprepared.”
I hid behind quantity, having yet to experience and learn how quantity and quality differ. One learns through trial and error what recipes work and which don’t. Cookbooks were added to my shelves to keep my recipe box company.

My Recipe Box

Quality

Everyone who knows me is scratching their heads… “Lynn had cookbooks and a recipe box? Lynn doesn’t cook.” True.
But I still have that first metal recipe box. The cookbooks are long gone as are most of the recipes I copied. I didn’t need them. I didn’t use them. I moved on.

What remains in my forty-plus year old recipe box are little cards full of shared memories. The cards take up precious little space but are all I need to remind me of loved ones who have passed on.

Each recipe in that box is tried, true, and loved.

Not full, but has all that counts

My Rules for Stuff

The only way to simplify is to make decisions free of rationalization. What ties us to stuff is insecurity, fear, habit, and an absence of rules. I can’t help you with the first three today, but I’ll share my simple rule with you. Rules help us make good decisions.

The Rule:  If I don’t need it or I don’t love it – I don’t want it.

What are you keeping in your recipe box that you don’t need anymore? 


Also posted in Understanding Life – 2 Comments
« Older posts