The power of simple respect on both horses and humans…

March 8, 2010

A Facebook post today reminded me of a conversation I’ve had at least three times this week and seem to have regularly no matter where I go. The topic is the power of simple respect. Lack of respect is ofttimes the culprit when we encounter difficulties with children, other adults, and horses. Especially horses.

The question today was about an ear-pinning, witchy mare who challenged her owner at feeding time. Similar stories appear on nearly every horse forum I’ve ever visited. The answer? Simple respect.

Pretty expressions make beautful photos

Pretty expressions make beautful photos

The Relationship Needs to be Reset

Why do kids sass their parents? Because they can.
Why do dogs ignore you when you try to call them in? Because they can.
Why do horses get owly and ugly at feeding time? You guessed right – because they can.

The only way to correct the behavior is to make a shift in relationship. In some way, you know, most problems between two spirits are caused by issues in their relationship.

Create a Habit of Respect

In this case the easiest fix is to establish a basic habit of respect by training the horse to back up on cue. Moving in reverse is usually a submissive gesture. Once this habit is in place you can fall back on it whenever your horse gets pushy.

Here are the main rules:

  • The horse needs to be looking right at you.
  • The horse must back straight, not haphazzardly.
  • The horse is not to lose focus from the lesson.
  • There is never an exception – every request must require a response.
  • You will get a specific response if you give specific cues and accept nothing less.

Methods to Teaching the Back-Up

There are any number of ways to teach horses to back up. Every clinician and trainer has one. If you need help, email me and I’ll try and provide it. No matter how you do it, the result should be a horse who is happy, quiet, obedient, and respectful. Keep in mind that every lesson learned requires regular maintenance or it will disappear from your tool box when you need it most.

It's all about relationship

It's all about relationship

Require Respect, Always

If your horse is ugly at feeding time, don’t feed it. Put on a halter and lead and do your back-up exercise. When your horse has a pleasant expression and is respectful, then provide feed. Once this exercise has become a habit, whenever your horse even begins to back their ears, all you will have to do is make the first gesture that leads to the back up exercise, have them move one hoof backwards, and you are the winner.

Does your horse tend to step in your space? Or on your feet? Once you have taught him or her to back up on cue, this won’t be an issue any longer. Any time your horse challenges you, make it back up. If it will not, then begin other exercises to get your horse working and back into a respectful frame of mind. The secret is commitment. Teach this lesson well and you will find that most of those little irritating habits your horse has seem to disappear.

You are not a waiter or waitress, you are the leader. Your horse earns its room and board by being in relationship with you. Be clear about what you expect and you will probably get it. And, both you and your horse will find greater joy in your relationship.

*     *     *

The second photo is of Tardee Dun It and Tammy. Tardee was one of our national champion stallions until he found his forever home with Tammy.

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Time Management Series: Try These Exercises

March 5, 2010

This post picks up where we left off last time; talking about achieving success by using time management to reprogram our lives. Today’s focus is on exercises to get the process started. I have also included three links to really great free resources to help you create new habits to replace your old ones.

Time Change Accidents

There’s no way to avoid the basic work of both managing your time efficiently and building new habits. You have to know where you are today and have an idea of where you want to go in order to find a path to get you there. The degree to which you feel a need to make improvements will determine if these exercises are appropriate for you.

If you are content with the status quo, you won’t be motivated to do the work change requires. But, the fact that you’re reading this either means you desire to be more successful, you perceive a need to get more out of each day, or – you are a very good friend who, out of loyalty, just makes time to read what I write. (It that’s you, well, thanks!)

A Basic Time Journal Will Automatically Identify Your Current Priorities

How you spend your time is the actual and present proof and evidence of your priorities. (Really, it is.) The first step to success is to identify how you invest your time now. Keep a time journal for two weeks. Be as specific as necessary, but don’t get so hung up on the details you put it off thinking you just don’t have time. Don’t concede defeat by failing to begin.

Do you want to know what relationships are most important to you? Your time journal will tell you, and with complete objectivity. You may think your children are your most important priority… but how much time do you carve out of your busy life to spend with them, one-on-one, without electronics of any kind being involved? Is your faith your greatest love? How much time do you invest daily with the Lord, one-on-one? Our highest priorities are either first on our daily list, or receive larger amounts of our time.

written list0001

People who are so busy they forget to eat do not have food as a high priority. Folks who think food is really important will drop any project when lunchtime arrives, no matter what business priority is attached to the work. Sometimes our behaviors speak more truth than our words.

Think in Terms of Modules

Back in school we had a modular schedule; one period for math, one for science, and so forth. Identify the life modules that are important to you and estimate how much time you think each deserves. Include modules for family, work, church, education, exercise, pets, hobbies, home maintenance, sleep, etc. How much time is needed to do each of them?

Some school modules were daily, others were two or three times weekly. What frequency do each of your modules require? Will days that are limited to 24 hours be enough? Did you include waiting and travel time?

Reality may set in. You can’t do it all. Compare your list of modules with the reality of your time journal. Is it time to prioritize and create as many efficiencies as possible?

Procrastination

Like anything else, there are only two reasons we don’t do something; we are either unable or we are unwilling. If you put something off because you don’t have enough information or time to complete it, then you are not presently able. Putting something off until later that you are able to do, is evidence you just don’t want to do it right now. You are unwilling. Something else has a higher priority. This is a situation where honestly and discernment are needed. If you put off calling your parents in order to watch Wheel of Fortune… you might as well admit that Vanna is more important to you at the moment than your folks.

Don’t Procrastinate When ‘No’ is Really the Correct Response

If there’s something you just don’t want to do, and recognize that you are never going to want to do it, then let everyone else involved know and get on with business. If you never want to plant a new tree in the front yard, then don’t. Of course, if you already promised you would, then either do it or fess up to the truth – not planting the tree is more important than your word. Putting it off will only get you demerits of another sort. You’ll pay the piper one way or the other. At least be honest. Your spouse can hire someone to plant the tree, and you can ask forgiveness. Repent, and when you think ‘No’ in the future, say so.

It is better to say no to a request than to have it on your to-do list indefinitely. You cannot be a success if your habit is to accumulate failures. You can only do what you can do. Do fewer things well. If you have been asked to do something you really would like to do, but don’t have the time capital at the moment, plan to clear your schedule at a pre-determined later date to say ‘Yes.’ Remember, time is an investment to be managed.

Great Articles to Help You Get Started

Here are three well-done articles that give specific tips to change your habits from bad ones to good ones. If you don’t have time to read them online, print them off and carry them with you to more efficiently use your waiting time.

Click On These Links

http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com/2008/06/16/a-guide-for-creating-new-habits/

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/18-tricks-to-make-new-habits-stick.html

http://www.stephanieburns.com/articles/article06_habit.asp

Until next time, be blessed.

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Time Management Series – Creating New Habits

March 4, 2010

Many of you are familiar with the song, “One day at a time…” and are well aware that time management and making life changes are works of ‘today’. Yet, there remains a constant demand for time management articles, tips, books, consultants and audio courses. The need to remind ourselves of what we already know is just a fact. When you find your time slipping away, and recognize a need for change, what you’re really looking for is the way to create new habits.

clock

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

Annie Dillard

Success is a Lifestyle

Success isn’t a destination; it is the product of all our days strung together – the quality of our journey. Success isn’t a place, a who, or a what. Success is a lifestyle.

The principles of effective time management are the same as achieving success in most things, whether we’re talking about education, horse training, Bible study, or marriage. Every one of us gets overwhelmed at times, and need to routinely revisit the simple truths of how to live wonderful lives.

Time Management Blog Series

Each month I present a business development and success tip at a local chamber luncheon. In a response to audience demand, the next subject will be time management. There are a number of foundational truths about time management that deserve consideration. Since I’m working on that topic anyway, it just makes sense to me to share it with you. Then, I’ll have to find about three minutes of material from the entire series for the lunch tip. Talk about time management!

Lynn in the middle of a conga line at one of her '80's seminars.

Lynn in the middle of a conga line at an '80's Chamber seminar.

Today’s post is the first of several on this subject; an introduction, if you will.

Life is All About Today

The first concept of time management and creating new habits is recognizing that the only time we have to work with is today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow never truly arrives… each sunrise brings a new today. And, no one has an advantage over anyone else when it comes to time. We all have 24 hours in the bank each day. Our success depends on how we invest it.

Until next time, focus on your present habits of time management. How is your life currently programmed to handle time and scheduling issues? Are you a list maker? Do you actually get everything on your list done? Does your head hit the pillow at night thinking only about what didn’t get done today, instead of being grateful for the joy of the day now ending as you prepare for new opportunities tomorrow?

Thoughts to Ponder

When training horses we look for a one-percent improvement in skills each day. Simple logic tells us that in one hundred days we will arrive at our training destination for a particular exercise. Are your daily goals realistic? A habit of small improvements is the best predictor of great success.

As a horse trainer I always began my day by riding the most challenging horse first. My patience was the greatest, I was fresh, and by working for that one-percent improvement, and always quitting on a high note – I was in a great place to enjoy the rest of the day. Try doing the task you like least first once your morning routine is completed and you get after your list for the day.

How Important is Today?

“The man who says each morning upon awaking that this will be his last day on earth will, one day, be right. “
Unknown

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What a difference a year makes…

March 2, 2010

It was one year ago yesterday that I first ‘heard’ about Amazing Grays. The day before I had completed a massive consulting project and was looking forward to a break. During my morning visit with the Lord I heard that I would write a book called AMAZING GRAYS-AMAZING GRACE. Well, that was a first for me. I wasn’t a writer; I was a business and equine professional. Just 24 hours later I learned about the July deadline. Gulp.

Faith is not seen…

Sometimes we are asked to step out onto an invisible pathway. We ask horses to do it all the time when we ask them to back out of horse trailers and they can’t see the ground, or when we ask them to step into water when they don’t know if there’s a bottom or not. I was asked to step out. And, one year later AMAZING GRAYS-AMAZING GRACE is published.

AmazingGreys-frontHD
The new website just went up live overnight. Sure, there are a couple of glitches, but they will be ironed out in a day or so. I want to thank April Bryan, Synergy Elements, for her fantastic work. April took our vision and made it a reality.
I invite you to visit the new site. Click HERE to go to the new book website.

You can read excerpts from AMAZING GRAYS on the new site and we have linked a NEWS and FEATURES page to the Amazing Grays Ministry site. The main feature will change weekly once the glitches are fixed. Our calendar is already outdated, and we’ll catch up soon.

One year later…

Our lives are completely changed. And in only one year… What could your life look like in just twelve short months if you step out onto a new path?

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Is it possible to always live by right principles in the real world?

February 26, 2010

“I am impressed with the wonder of what God says, but He cannot expect me to really live it out in the details of my life!”

My misgivings arise from the fact that I ransack my own person to find out how He will be able to do it. My questions spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, let me bring them to the light and confess them – “Lord, I have had misgivings about Thee, I have not believed in Thy wits apart from my own.

These words were written by Oswald Chambers a hundred years ago. You know, people just don’t change, and neither does God.

ski jumper

Faith believes in the possible, not the present

The 2010 Winter Olympic Games are in full swing. Last night we watched skiers fly 50 feet in the air; twisting , turning, flipping, and performing feats that defy understanding in one whose feet stay as close to the ground as possible. The back of a horse is as high as I need to be, and I’m really starting to appreciate the 14-hand variety.

show jumping with name on photo

When a young horse enters the arena under saddle for the first time, if faced with a five foot fence, will see it as nothing more than an obstacle to be avoided. In smart riders, the same would be true! Yet, some of these horses (and riders) will go on to soar over fences with an ease that simply mystifies the rest of us.

Don’t limit your vision…

Oswald Chambers’ words are as right today as they were a century ago. Do not limit what you believe is possible by your own experience and understanding; stand on the promise of Victory in Jesus Christ – already achieved, and delivered by grace. Like the horse and the Olympic athlete, our vision will expand as we practice and master our lessons, until we too are able to fly!

Go out there today and be victorious.

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How to get what you want – Step One:

February 16, 2010

There’s an old joke about a man who prayed to win the lottery. God’s response was, “Help Me out… buy a ticket.” Step One in achieving success, or having your dearest wish come true, is initiative.

You will never get to Step Two without addressing Step One first. The manner in which this truth has been stated time and again is as varied as the speakers, but the essence is eternal. I can’t say it any better than did these, so I’ll step back and let you consider the matter in the words of others.

From apathy to joy!

First you have to step outside... then comes joy!

Success and Initiative

Eighty-percent of success is just showing up. – Woody Allen

God helps those who help themselves. – unknown

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do little. – Edmund Burke

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. – Frederick Douglas

Action is the antidote to despair. – Joan Baez

“Do so” is more important than “Say so.” – Peter Seeger

Preach the gospel constantly. Use words if necessary. – St. Francis of Assisi

Action is Step One in achieving success

God will never do what we can. He will wait until we take the initiative and step in once our ability is exhausted. If we don’t try, that pretty much ends the matter at the outset.

Jesus always required personal initiative before He healed anyone. They had to “Arise” or “Stretch out your hand.” The requirement has not changed.

“God does not give us overcoming life, He gives us life to overcome.” (Oswald Chambers) Praying for an end to our apathy is fruitless. Apathy says we don’t care enough to try. If we don’t care enough to try, do you think God will? Nope.

Action and inspiration are two sides of the wheel that leads to success. The more action the more inspiration, and we travel further. The physical principle of inertia tells us that it takes more energy to get a wheel rolling that to keep it rolling.

So, the first step in achieving success, no matter what it is, is to get your wheel rolling. You can’t train a horse without movement, and it is silly to exhaust your energy considering which direction to go if you aren’t already moving.This is an objective matter, no guessing required. Act. Move. Try.

Give God a chance to answer your prayers. “Buy a ticket.”

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Have patience… the rest of the story

February 12, 2010

I originally posted “Have patience” last September. Here’s what’s happened since…

“Have you ever just been itchin’ to get going on a project, but the control was not 100% in your hands? You have a couple of options here, depending on the circumstances. One is to push like mad to change the situation, the other to regroup and learn the lesson that is always offered in such cases.

Just received the production time line [September 2009] from my publisher on my new book. Looks like the official release date may not be until late next summer.

Waiting patiently

Waiting patiently

Wisdom and opportunity

Obstacles, we know, are placed before us to either overcome or to cause us to change direction. Wisdom tells us which is which.

Time is but one day added to the last. Patience doesn’t mean sitting idle, living in a vacuum until what we are waiting for happens. Patience is recognizing when we cannot control a particular time line, and choosing to use our time in pursuit of other goals while the first one simmers.

If an obstacle must be overcome, grit up and push forward. If patience becomes the watchword for the moment, have peace in the interim and use the opportunity created by your change in priorities. There is always an opportunity. Patience is just changing your focus from the kettle that won’t come to a boil for a while to the hors d’ oeuvres waiting on the counter.”

Discernment

Figure out what requires an all-out campaign to accomplish, and what doesn’t. Discernment is such a weighty word, because it’s big enough to carry the entire message. Most of the items on your to-do list aren’t critical. Be honest, they’re just not.

Getting after it!

Getting after it!

Five months later…

Amazing Grays-Amazing Grace is published – five months ahead of schedule. Just when I got completely content with the lead time, the lead time vanished! At first I felt pressure to get MUCH done FAST. All the PR, all the media, all the programming, blah, blah, blah.

All in its own time. The pressure is off.

My enforced book limbo brought insights that had been lost in the dust of the manuscript skirmish. I needed separation to be able to refocus and see clearly. Having reached the opposite shore of the sea of patience I set out to cross last September, I have been blessed by the lesson that was so graciously offered. Will I be impatient again? Oh, I’m sure. Well, maybe. Whatever. I’ll just patiently wait until the next obstacle.

Separate the must-do from the want-to-do. Discern properly and your load will lighten immeasurably.

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Imagination and a suit of clothes…

February 10, 2010

How many of us worry, fret, and ball ourselves up into tight little bundles as we look at the magnitude of obligations that loom before us; as we consider the future of our children and the nation; as we try to figure out how we can possibly get our ‘list’ accomplished; or even just how we are going to get through until bedtime?

One of the legendary instructors at Dallas Seminary compared Christians to suits of clothes. He nailed it when he said that we are to be empty suits of clothes, animated by the Spirit of God. Can you imagine that for yourself?

Unleash Your Imagination

Just Imagine...

Impossible.

It’s impossible! In today’s world it is factually impossible to do all that we commit to, want to, and need to – our feeling of failure for what we didn’t get done growing like a snowball gaining speed and girth as it makes its way down a long, long hill.

The secret of life…

The secret of life is relationship with God. The important question is not how, why, where, or when – the important question is ‘Who’? **

Imagination is what gives us the power to exceed the limits of our human vision. Imagination allows us to see ourselves as an empty suit of clothes, ready for animation by the Holy Spirit. Imagination lets us suspend our belief in only what we see, opening the door to relationship with God. The heartbeat of that relationship is faith.

Intellect stunts imagination

Christians are nourished by faith; led by faith; emboldened by faith; become fearless by faith. Intelligence is a great asset, but IQ by itself gets you nowhere in any spiritual sense. Actually, it is often more difficult for one with great intellect to move past what can be known, and on to what truly matters. That takes imagination.

Once we imagine ourselves to be but an empty suit of clothes, we become willing to let the Spirit of God direct the movements of our limbs, the direction of our travel, and the words we speak.

Security and peace

Parents who set limits for their kids tend to have more secure, happier children. Horses need boundaries to be secure and balanced. The same is true of every species that is herd or relationally based.

Our suit of clothes is visual evidence of our personality and our path. Some of us wear haute couture, some denim overalls. We still have our unique qualities; indeed God delights in them. God has no use for Stepford saints.

Let God use your suit of clothes. Once you do, you will find that your endless to-do list goes away. Priorities are established in quick order. Many of those previously pressing concerns will find a new home in the round file labeled, “Doesn’t really matter.”

You will find security, joy, and peace. God is on His throne. He is in control. Your imagination and faith will put you right where you both want and need to be.

Becoming threadbare

Like any suit of clothes, we all wear out. Let your imagination consider that truth. Our bodies get creakier and slower as our suit of clothes becomes worn and threadbare.

When the day comes that our suit of clothes has reached the end of its service, we are promised a brand new suit – designed by the Master to be immortal.

If your vision isn’t giving you the picture you hoped for, try using your imagination instead. Trust a higher vision.

My suit seems to have developed holes in the elbows and knees. But, I keep it as clean as possible, and offer it again today. I am not concerned. I am not afraid. I am not overwhelmed.

I’m just a suit of clothes.

** Excerpt from the Introduction of “AMAZING GRAYS-AMAZING GRACE: Pursuing relationship with God, horses, and one another.”  For more information, click HERE.

AMAZING GRAYS cover

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Wild horses and hungry children…

February 3, 2010

How often has the question been asked, “Why does God let bad things happen?” Pictures and reports of the torture and abuse of both children and animals tear at our hearts. The most normal reaction in the world is to turn away, to change the channel, to mute the volume, until the evidence of horror is gone for the moment.

The nature of my work brings me reportage of gross cruelty to animals daily – especially horses. I, too, click frantically to remove the evidence from my computer screen. Like most others, I find the images hard to deal with. I don’t have enough money to save them all. We can’t rescue every pair of innocent eyes that seem to look directly into our soul, hoping for a connection that will bring a savior.

Wild horse trio

Homeless

Our hearts are meant to be torn

Humans and animals were created by God to live together in peace and harmony. It was the free will of man that caused the blood to flow, both literally and figuratively.

As Christians our hearts are meant to be torn, to bleed, when we witness the cruelty of man. But even in this, there is a promise; that our hearts will never be broken beyond repair. Should we not react viscerally to the evil perpetrated on the innocent, we would not be truly human, chosen members of the family of God.

God offered paradise. Man rejected God’s plan, thinking he had a better one. As is always the result, the innocent suffered, beginning with Abel who fell by his brother’s hand.

Video of hungry children anywhere is painful. The tragic circumstances of the wild horses of the western United States is currently front and center in the picture of man’s failure. The commercials that air on TV to request donations for the tortured and abused dogs and cats of our nation are painful to watch. They are meant to be painful.

We are not home yet

Children of God don’t run from this pain. It serves as a reminder of our failure; evidence of man’s arrogance, pride, and revolt. It also reveals a higher nature, one that is connected to a higher Spirit. Our present pain only reminds us that we are not home yet.

On Their Way Home

On Their Way Home

Character, conviction, and the actions they birth are the result of overcoming failure, both ours personally and that of mankind’s history. How do we do that?

First, get in right relationship with God. Exchange the failure of man for the promise and glory of the King. We will live in His kingdom. Only then will the original creation return – peace among all of God’s creatures. Joy will replace sorrow in that morning.

In the meantime, do what you can, when you can, for the children and the animals. Yes, your heart will be torn, but know that no one person can do it all, and God doesn’t expect you to. Bless those around you, both two-legged and four, with love, relationship, time, and care. You are not God. Man has delivered us to this place, but only God can get us out.

And He will. He promised. We have a Savior… that promise has been kept.

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Relationship: It’s a matter of perspective…

February 1, 2010

Brides and grooms, on your wedding day, did you care more about the reflection of yourself you saw in the mirror, or the reflection of yourself you saw in the eyes of your beloved?

Earthly eyes covet beautiful things, but our spirits yearn for beautiful relationships.

Lynn sideways on Bo

topshelfphoto

Many times people I meet when riding my horse, Bo, ask if he is for sale. They don’t really want him because he is a beautiful horse, what they want is the relationship he and I share.

By only a glance; only a touch…

When we desire a marriage like that special couple, who even after spending fifty years together, still hold hands and communicate deeply with only a glance or a touch; we don’t want that wife for our own, or that man for our husband – we want the relationship they model for us.

Christians who pursue the work of God frequently ignore their relationship with God, and concentrate instead on service alone. How do you see your reflection: in the eyes of other men, as in a mirror dimly, or your reflection in the eyes of God?

Finding the proper perspective

When we watch a horse and rider galloping along the crest of a hill, beautifully backlit by a golden orange sunset, we think, ‘How striking. How marvelous. What an emotional image.’

Does the picture change if you know that the horse is a runaway, and the rider in danger of severe injury?

Discernment comes from having the proper perspective. Correct perspective comes only by the Spirit. [Romans 1:21-23, 25]

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

“[Christian] workers break down because their desire is for their own whiteness, and not for [relationship with] God. Personal holiness is an effect, not a cause.” Oswald Chambers

AMAZING GRAYS - AMAZING GRACE

Book Cover

Relationship and perspective are two themes found in AMAZING GRAYS-AMAZING GRACE: Pursuing relationship with God, horses, and one another.

Launching for pre-release March 1, 2010. For more information, click  HERE

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